You'll be lierally amazed when you read what I'm about to write.
This weeked I'm going to Centre Parcs!
I know what you're thinking, why is a cool, urbanite, influencer like Barry Newsdesk going to Centre Parcs.
Centre Parcs is basically Butlins for the middle class family man. Jeesh, I'm upper working class for starters and ain't in the family way yet! ;-) - well, not that I know about kk!
Thing is, Gill and I booked a trip to Centre Parcs just before Xmas. It was her idea to be honest, and in all fairness, she's paying for it. But the holiday is booked all the same, and it'd be a shame to waste it.
She said as much to me just last night. We went to the pub and had a very frank chat. We're definitely not 'dating', but well, I've not had much luck with the Internet dating schemes and I think we can safely say I'm totoally OVER Amber. It was infatuation, nothing more, there was no emotion. It was pure sex. Well, not actual sex, but certainly desire, or lust if you will.
Gill reckons we can go to Centre Parcs together, it's a twin room after all and there are plenty of activities for us to be getting on with, so we don't need to spend every waking moment together.
I tell you what though, it's been a while, if you know what I mean, and if we're louging by the pool and she's got that bikini on that goes see-thru when it gets wet, well, I'm only human aren't I?!
We'll have chicken & chips and a few glasses of chardonney, and those twin beds can soon be pushed together ;-)) nudge, nudge.
It doesn't mean we'll be back together, but maybe we can have an 'open' relationship? A lot of water has passed under the bridge when all's said and done.
I'm not telling Mum, she'll only get excited, and at her age she probably doesn't need her blood pressure rising. Besides, she's probably got something planned with Roger anyway. Smooth talking crook that he is will be swindling her out of my inheritance!
Anyway, gotta go and pack my snorkel - think I'll pack my lucky pants while I'm at it.
Who would have thought I'd be so excited about a trip to bloody Centre Parcs....next I'll be buying a Ford Mondeo.
Peace out, l8ers