Karma down, karma down

Life is all about learning lessons. Unless you’re a teacher, of course, in which case it’s about giving lessons. But even when you’re giving a lesson, you can be learning. Unless you’re my old games teacher Mr 'Wilkins',who certainly didn’t learn his lesson and was eventually reported to the police for indecent exposure.

I think it is fair to say that I got a little bit over-refreshed yesterday. Well, actually, I got as over-refreshed as a newt. It’s all part of the healing process though. I was tired and emotional and I said I few things I’ve come to regret.

But the only things we truly regret are the things we never did, right? It’s better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.

When Liverpool scored their second goal last night, I sent Dave, the roofer, a few choice words via the medium of SMS. Then, as though Buddha himself was looking down on me with his karmic telescope up popped Didier Drogba to score and then that Brazilian bloke Alex scored a belter of a freekick, then Frank ‘lamps’ Lampard put the blues 3-2 up.

Even if you hate Chelsea, you’ve got to take your hat off to big Frank Lampard, whose goal celebration, which is no way a complete rip off of Kaka, of pointing up to the heavens, where presumably he believes his dear old Mum Pat, what went to every game, is looking down with pride, brings a tear to the heart every time.

It was a turning point in the game and it was a turning point in my life. I was distraught at first, that Liverpool should snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, but then I thought to myself ‘no Barry, this is a sign, it was meant to be.’ I texted Dave again to say that I was sorry, that maybe we could let bygones be bygones, it takes a big man to realise he was wrong and even bigger man to do something about it.

Then, unbelievably, Liverpool scored not once, but twice more!!! I have to admit that even though I’d said that I was sorry to Dave, I still wanted Liverpool to knock Chelsea out, and I said as much to Dave in another text.

But then Big Frank Lampard curled in another to seal the tie. Karmic justice was done.

I shouldn’t have hated Dave for sleeping with Gill. All is fair in love and war. Hate is such a strong word and I was duly punished.

Karma is a strange thing readers, Glen Hoddle lost his job as England manager because he said he thought people with disabilities in this life were being punished for misdemeanours in a past life. It’s the 20th anniversary of the Hillsborough tragedy today, in which 96 Liverpool fans tragically lost their lives. Maybe Glen Hoddle thought that was karmic justice in action for the 39 Italian lives that were lost when Liverpool fans ran amok at the European Cup final in 1984.

Dave texted me back after the game and called me a 'silly c*nt'. Maybe he’s right.