Monday, April 13, 2009


I'm really sorry to disappoint you all. Today was suppposed to be the day of the Big 1K Party. My proudest moment in blogging. As I type these words though salty tears are dripping upon the keyboard, I haven't had a wink of sleep all night.

It's doubly disasterous, as today I have a new follower too, Mandy. She's my 13th. Unlucky for some eh. Sorry, Mandy, I'll give you a proper welcome when I'm feeling more cheerful.

I was feeling jubilent when I went to meet Dave yesterday, then he gave me the news.

"Awlright Bawwry," he said, "you never guess who I bumped into the ovver day?"

I said "who?". He didn't tell me straight away, Dave always makes you spend a few minutes trying to guess, it's always futile, although I did guess it right once, when he's met Ashley Cole in Crazy Larry's.

After a few minutes of guessing, he put put me out my misery. Although, ironically he put me deeper into misery than ever before, "Gill," he said, "Gill? What my Gill?"
"Only she's not your Gill is she Barwrry?" he said with a wink.

Dave, my so called friend, then went on to tell me in tawdry detail of his night with Gill. I was agog.

How could he does this to me? My friend, Dave the roofer!!?

I had to make my excuses and leave, I was feeling sick. I would have punched him too, but I'm a pacifist.

I left the pub and picked up eight cans of Cobra and some Monster Munch for the party today, but I can't go through with it readers, so particular appologies to Mess and Mr Coleman and I know you guys were looking forward to it, but I'm sure you understand?

I texted Amber when I got back, but she didn't respond.

Think I might see if Mum wants to come down from Lincoln later.



  1. Blogleader - what can I say? This is unfolding like some Greek tragedy. You must turn this to your advantage somehow - history is crowded with writers and artists who produced their best work following just such a personal setback. The party can wait despite your magnificent 1009 hits and 14 followers. Like the Terminator so famously said "I'll be back!"

  2. Okay - here's what I think, you need to stop texting Amber, and stop trying it on with her. Be casual and uninterested when around her. Find a date, don't even be afraid of using Match.Com. Arrange your date to meet you after work one day so Amber can see you with someone else.If she texts you, don't reply for 3 hours and say "sorry, i turned my phone off because (date's name) was round".

    Then, and here's the best bit, look for weaknesses in Amber's relationship with this other guy - does she look sulky because of something he's done, let her bitch about him to you, but DON'T say a bad word about him or utter the words "you can do better" just be like "I understand."

    Oh and it isn't the size of your blog, it's how you use it!