Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Im-perfect 10

Well readers, I’m usually overjoyed when I gain new followers. But my latest addition, some guy calling himself The Finisher, seems like a total jerk-off.

He’s made a couple of comments already. He comes across like a right know-it-all. He seems to be friends with my excellent follower Cathy and her (purely platonic) friend Sam (nice video btw Sam - you sound just like Kate Bush!! - if you've not seen it readers, check it out here. It's BRILLIANT)

So, I don’t want to be too rude about my new follower, he might be Sam’s boyfriend. After all Sam did post that he loves cock and this Finisher bloke seems like a bit of cock.

He’s questioning my journalistic integrity. But I’ve had a look at his blogs Bad PR and Dart Club and they’re absolutely rubbish.

He reckons he’s a writer, but he can’t write for toffee. Actually, I’ve gone beyond caring whether or not I hurt his (or Sam’s or Cathy’s) feelings. He reminds of my boss Richard at Blockbusters.

The Bad PR blog is just a catalogue of whinging and moaning, and the Dart Club blog seems to be about him and his mates playing darts. WHO CARES???????

Get a life the Finisher. You might be following me, but that doesn’t mean we have to be friends, KK??! Wise up.

Unwanted followers are just stalkers!

Sorry for the rant readers, I don’t mean to waste my emotions on people like the Finisher. Sometimes I can’t help it though, I’m an emotional man. I get that from Mum probably. She raised me to care about stuff.

I guess I’m especially sensitive today because I asked Amber out yesterday at Blockbusters, I’ve been avoiding doing it, because we work together. I even asked Richard if I could get a transfer to another branch. But he said no, the wanker. Anyway, cutting a long story short, she said she was kind of seeing someone right now, so it was a bit difficult :-(

I can't believe it. I really thought we had something going. I really thought we'd bonded. We're astrologically perfect for each other. I told her this, and she said she wasn't really into the 'older man thing'.

I called Gill to see if she fancied meeting for a chat. But it went straight to voice mail.

I’m not losing hope with Amber just yet, as long as we’re working together there’s always a chance that she’ll come around the old ND charm.

Speaking of which, I’ve got a shift on now, so I’d better be off *sigh*


  1. Come on Barry. There's no need for that. You might not think much of my skills as a writer, but it's worth bearing in mind that I was paid to be a journalist for ten years and didn't have to rely on Blockbusters [sic] 'to makes ends meet' while sending in half-arsed nonsense to the Metro every so often.

  2. Lads, lads! This is getting tedious - you're both heading for a detention! Blogleader - rise above it. Finisher - learn how to spell "legal" before highlighting the typing errors of others. Now, can we please get this blog back on track? I am certain that the writers of "The Archers" or even "Days of Our Lives" could soon be following to get new plot ideas and I don't want them judging the blog by the carping comments and injured-pride retorts it seems to be currently generating!

  3. Well said Mr Coleman. The voice of reason as ever. I'll let it drop, I think I was just feeling about down about Amber.

  4. Fair enough. We all make mistakes and I can see how upset Barry was about Amber. In my defence, I made a solitary typo. While Barry appears to spell the name of the place he works incorrectly every single time. I don't want to start another argument stream though, it's in the past.

  5. Excellent! And, just like the green shoots of recovery emerging from the bleakness of recession, this short-but-sorry episode has had its positive up-side! The average number of hits per week has been increased! Yes! We are now only 63 hits away from our Millennium Celebration Party! Blogleader - start ordering the virtual Prawns in Rose Marie Sauce starters.

  6. And if you're lucky, I will perform a Will Young song of your choosing.

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  8. Well done, Sam - that's the spirit. In the light of current events and of the reconciliation that seems to have taken place, I think the most apt Will Young song will be his 2009 single "Let It Go" - get virtual practising!

  9. Changes is way better, you go Sam, you can do it !!! lol