Thursday, April 9, 2009


Last week I was literally on Cloud Nine after receiving my ninth follower Cathy. At the time my excellent follower Mr Colman suggested in the comments section that I was getting so popular that I should start thinking about throwing a party when I reached the 1000 hits watershed.

Well, I responded that as I was on 811 hits, it wouldn't take a maths (or math, as my American readers no doubt call it) genius to work out that was only 189 away from the Big 1K.

I did a bit of back of the fag packet maths and calulated that at my hit rate per day ratio I'd hit the Big 1K on April 26th!

Well, what a week I've had. First up I got myself into a right mess in (yet another) case of mistaken identity. I thought Cathy's friend was Will Young. He wasn't Will Young though, he was (well, I suppose he still is!) Sam Tring. Naturally, I thought he must be Cathy's boyfriend. Then I was wrong again readers. He revealed that he's actually gay. I felt like a right plonker. Then some other guy calling himself The Finisher started following me. And, he's entitled to his opinions, just like I'm entitled to mine. Let's just say we didn't really hit it off straight away. But, thanks to the calming influence of Mr Coleman, we managed to patch things up. It's water under the bridge as far as I'm concerned.

While all this was kicking off, I discovered that Amber from Blockbuster (happy now?) is actually seeing someone and so I've got a bit of competition for her affections. She knocked me back, but I'm not out of the game!! When something's worth fighting for, I'll not be detered. And, as per Mr Coleman's suggestion I reckon I'll throw a party on the blog and invite Amber!

Thing is, all the furore with Will Young/Sam Tring and The Finisher, my hit rate per day ratio shot through the roof!!!!

It's April 9th and I'm on 938 hits. I'm only 62 off the Big 1K and I haven't done a thing to get things ready for the party....

I'm going to need some help readers. That's where you come in.

I need you guys to spread the word that there's a party going down! Tell everyone, tell your friends, if they're a friend of yours, they're a friend of mine.

Bring a few cans of Cobra and we'll have a party right here on the blog. If you've got a wireless router, you might want to take your iBook into the kitchen, that's where people tend to congregate. Or perhaps if you're a smoker and you've got an iPhone or some other fancy gadget, you migth want to hang out in the garden with the other smokers. Everyone knows the smokers are always the coolest people at a party.

That's not to say I condone smoking, I don't, they're coffin nails. But maybe you've got some weed. Hey, chill out, you're among friends.

Don't bring any dickhead dust though, unless you're Barry McGuigan, I'm not going to argue with the Clones Cylone!!!

Pop some music on your stereo, that's the glory of this party, you can listen to whatever you want as quietly or loudly as you like. Although, if you're listening to Cliff Richard don't let me find out, I'll have you thrown out as a gatecrasher. Will Young look-a-like Sam Tring has offered to do a turn, and having seen his Bush, I'm not going to say no.

This blog post will have to serve as the invitation, so make sure you RSVP. I reckon, at the current growth rate, I'll break the 1000 barrier by Easter Monday. Handily enough, UK readers should have the day off so will be able get this party started, let's get this party started, let's get this party started!!!!

When Amber sees how many cool friends I've got, she's bound to see sense and choose a bit of Newsdesk in her life.

I'm pumped readers, I can hardly wait for Monday. Thank God for Jesus eh, without him getting nailed up we'd all be at work ;-)



  1. I'll be there - well, HERE actually - but you know what I mean! I'm already working on my smalltalk. More than happy to big you up with Amber if it helps - though I also think you should invite Gill (if only for old times sake). Suggest you also Twitter an invite to your 1000+ followers. Might have to leave party early though as there is a QI repeat I need to catch up on. Save me some trifle!

  2. Told you yesterday, I'll be there too ! It was really difficult to check your new blogs on mobile but I showed deep strengh, lol.

  3. Great news that you guys can make it. Mr Coleman, I'm not sure inviting Gill would be so wise y'know, she can be quite emotional after a couple of glasses of chardonney. Besides, your eagle eyes will have noted I have another follower here on the blog, and she's an AMBER!!! (although not the same one that works with me at Blockbusters. (I'm going to post about it later!!! fear not). I knew you'd be a Q1 fan, it's like 8/10 Cats for Mensa members - that Stephen Fry cracks me up, lol, - nice to tweet with you Mess! Cheers dude. kk - ofski m'blocski. x