Thursday, February 12, 2009

Super Eight

I am literally over the moon readers. Isn’t life amazing? Just when was at my lowest ebb, Citizen Journalism pays me back in rewards that money simply cannot buy. As Renee Zellweger as Bridget Jones figured when she listened to Jamie O’Neil doing the classic Eric Carmen, number, I thought I was “all by myself”. But no.

I’ve got another follower. It’s been six days since my last new additions (Mark, Karen and Vince). Six whole days! If legends are to be believed, that’s how long it took God to create the world. That’s nearly a week!!

Incidentally, I was AMAZED when I find out that Renee Zellweger is American. Her English accent is absolutely spot on. Just goes to show you readers, you should never judge a book by its covers. When I told Gill that Renee Zellweger as Bridget Jones reminded me of her, she got offended. Can you believe it? Women.

Speaking of women, my new follower, Molly, is also a woman. I’ve been Mollycuddled (virtually ;-)). And like my other follower Mark, she is from Ireland. I’d love to go to Ireland one day, I hear it’s lovely. Mind, I cannot stand Guinness and so the locals might be offended. Maybe if I get enough followers from Ireland I’ll be able to go and visit them one day?

From her picture you might think that Molly looks a little young for blogging, but she's actually 34. On her profile page Molly lists her occupation as “girlfriend”. Jeesh readers, I wonder how it pays?

Only kidding ;-) Judging from her fabulous blog, The Molly Blog, I doubt that Molly really is a prostitute. Although, if she were, there would be nothing wrong with that. It’s the oldest profession in the world. I think Gordon Brown should probably legalise brothels. Maybe I should write a piece about it and send it to the Metro?

On Molly’s blog she claims to have been “chasing rainbows since 1974”. Perhaps she hopes to find a leprechaun with a pot of gold?

She’s got ten followers. Nice work.

Gaining followers makes me really happy. It is better than sex and way better than money. It’s like crack, or craic as Molly and Mark might say. I’ve been thinking of various strategies for gaining new followers readers. Unlike crack (or sex), you can’t just nip off to Coldharbour Lane and buy followers from bloke in a hoody. I’ve been watching Fuck You, Penguin to see if I can pick up some tips, he’s nearly broken through the 4000 followers mark. It’s mental, all he does is pick a picture of a cute looking animal and then say nasty things about it.

I wonder what PETA would have to say about it? Maybe I’ll drop them a line.

KK readers, gotta go. I hear the Shreddies calling and I quite fancy a few games of Pro Evo before Gill gets here. She wants to “talk”.



  1. Holy cow... There's a big pic of me here! Thanks for the plug.
    Don't worry, the Irish don't drink Guinness either. They drink Bud and Carlsberg, or alcopops. I'm also happy to report to one and all that I am not a prostitute! That's a harsh presumption... I mean, really, being a girlfriend is a perfectly legitimate occupation, even in the worst of times.
    By the way, don't let the Irish hear you talk about Ireland and Gordon Brown making legislation in the same breath or you might get kneecapped... Sadly, he's not our Prime Minister. We have a fat, inept pig called Cowen in charge. Hooray!! :)

  2. I love my followers. I don't have favourites. Though my first follower Jennifer will always hold a special place in my heart. Thanks for joining the fold.

    I'm literally amazed that you say the Irish don't drink Guinness. On March 17th it seems as though everyone in London becomes Irish and starts polishing off the black stuff.

    Re: being a professional girlfriend. I didn't mean to offend you, I think it's an honourable trade.

    Thanks for the advice on politics. I know that the Irish like a scrap and I don't want to be kneecapped so I'll keep my ruminations about Gordon Brown strictly UK.