Saturday, August 22, 2009

Club 40-40

I've had an epiphany readers. After reading Mr C's brilliant comment on the last one one post (regarding the establishment of what would in effect be The Barry Newsdesk Online Idea Factory), I realised that I really am an Ideas Man. (I'm also a ladies man, but that's another story lol).

I had my latest idea while I was thinking about where to go on holiday next year. I'd just received a letter from the Buddhist Retreat in Scotland that I went to not so long ago asking me whether I wanted to book in now and receive what it called 'An Early Bird Discount'. But I don't want worms readers!!! That's why I play things by ear most of the time. That's when you find the real discounts, I'm the late bird, like an owl, who has turned his back on worms for breakfast, and now feasts on nocturnal delights.

The Buddhist retreat was great though and I thought maybe I would be able to use my experience and knowledge of the world's religions to establish some other sort of religious retreat. Religious people love a holiday don't they? Some of our fav hols are religious, whatsmore they love a cause, possibly more than non-religious people, apart from Animal Rights campaigners. They're sometimes even more fervent than muslim martyrs aren't they?

It was then that I had my epiphany, I'm thinking of setting up a special Judeo-Christian Camp called 40 Days and 40 Nights (not unlike Richard Dawkins and his crazy atheist camp). Y'see it's like the Perfect Storm in many ways, I've been camping quite a bit recently and I've been studying religion. It's as though all my ideas have formed a mighty tsunami.

I envisage highering actors to play the parts of significant figures throughout religious history, then campers can not only enjoy the great outdoors for 40 days and 40 nights, but they can also learn first hand about some of the greatest religions to have shaped the world.

My business plan involves finding a suitable campsite in which to stage my Religious Expereince. I was thinking of looking in Britain, the credit crunch has certainly encouraged people to stay in this country more and maybe my camp can help resore life to the English seaside resort. I was thinking of doing it in Cleethorpes, with the best will in the world, it is something of a wilderness up there, and the tide goes out for miles, so I can use the Humber Estury for the Red Sea parting scenes.

Next up, I'll place an advert in Stage or somewhere elese online and free looking for my leading lights. I'll need at least one Jesus, a Mohammed, a Moses and a Satan. I figure I can probably use locals or students looking for work for the minor parts.

Finally, I'll need funding. So I'll do what I do best and write some emails. I'm sure Thompson Holidays will be interested, not to mention the Vatican.

I'll keep you posted on developments as they unfold.

Take care guys.



  1. Hi Blogleader – just where do they come from? You leak ideas like a man with diarrhoea on a diet of fig rolls and prunes! And this one is pure genius! You can take that from someone who knows genius when he sees it (as I do each morning in the shaving mirror).
    Judeo-Christian-Muslim holidays – quite brilliant! It taps into the current Holiday-at-Home market appealing, as it will, to the local faithful whilst cleverly offering opportunities for some much needed inter-faith reconciliation when tourists of other faiths from all points of the compass visit Britain (bringing their much needed foreign currency to these benighted shores)!
    As for using unemployed actors for the main characters – perfect! There must be hundreds of desperate young thespians who’ll do anything to get an Equity card. From what I read there are thousands of unemployed actors out there. I’ve been told that most of the waitresses in Hooters are only there waiting for something big to pop up. My guess is that any one of them would be just perfect to play the Virgin Mary! I suggest you get down to some serious casting straight away.
    As for a sponsor – we’re back to good old Richie Branson. I bet he’d go for it hook, line and sinker – though he might want to re-brand the idea as Virgin Birth Holidays to maintain the corporate image.
    You could consider asking sporting clubs or Supermarket chains to finance the various stalls and displays – “We Three Kings of Leyton Orient Are” comes to mind and I bet that big sausage manufacturer could come up with something quite creative with the Walls of Jericho. Marks and Spencer’s are practically on-board already with their St Michael brand underwear.
    Keep working at this one!
    Cheers - MrC

  2. Barry, you are greater than Michael Keaton in 'Night Shift.' The best he could come up with was 'edible garbage.' You truly are an inspiration.