Sunday, November 8, 2009

I have a nasty virus

Apologies blogosphere, I have been AWOL for a week now. The truth of the matter is, I think I must have picked up a nasty bug at some point last weekend.

Dan reckons I probably picked up the infection because I've been operating all this time without using the right sort of protection.

I went to see a specialist regarding what I think is quite an embarrassing complaint during the week, and he told me that he'd really need to take a closer look at my equipment.

I had to leave the flat today to get myself down to the Internet cafe on the high street so that I could blog-on. I'd often walked past this cafe and just figured it must be some sort of money laundering operation, much like the Somali mini-cab firm and the massage parlour.

Internet cafes don't come cheap, this one is charging me £1 for 10 mins. I saw a report in the paper the other day that posed the question, 'Is access to the Internet a basic human right?' I thought to myself, well yes, I think everyone should be able to access the Internet.' But then on reflection, it shouldn't necessarily be free.

I think Cobra is a basic human right, but I'm more than happy to pay my way. £1 per can seems fair, even though I could easily neck a Cobra in under 10. I dunno, maybe £1 for 10 minutes Internet access is good value. I'd be lucky to get 10 minute massage for a quid. Especially if it had a happy ending. And £1 wouldn't get me back home in a cab (assuming that any of the cabbies were were working today, which by the look of things they aren't) - the walk home is no more than 10 mins, but the cab firm sticks a pick up fare of a fiver anyway.

I could get a six for the price of five Cobras if I walk home. Or I can double that fee and nip into the massage parlour. OR - I could sit writing the blog for an hour.

Hopefully, PC World will fix the problem with my laptop and I'll be able to blog from the comfort of my home by this time next week. Then all these financial conundrums will be a thing of the past.

Once again, sorry about my absence blogfans, and sorry about this terribly short post. But time's money and all of a sudden I do fancy a quick rub down.




  1. No worries mate, as long as you're doing fine. I had a dream about you last week, you were texting me asking me to call you so I could give a french point of view about something you would explain later for a future blog post. I was about to call you when I woke up. I will neva eva know !!!!
    Work is taking me much time (love too!) but I'm fine and I hope you are too. You take care. x x x x

  2. Hi Blogleader.
    You ***, you really had me going there! Why in your God's name are you not writing scripts for the Beeb? Any funnier and I shall have to start wearing Tena pants! My stitches haven't healed yet either - got to ration laughing to three guffaws and a giggle each day.
    You're a legend, mate!
    Hope your laptop is soon better - my wife says that an application of live yogurt can help!
    Cheers, Mr.C.