Hello readers. I thought I’d take this opportunity to come and speak to you. Dippy’s not really with me at the moment. I mean, she’s here, in the room. Her body’s here in the room, but she’s somewhere else. Her self, you know? She’s been wiggling her hands for two hours and giggling. Wiggling and giggling. Before that she sat and stared at the table without moving for an hour. And that’s her thing. And that’s beautiful. Fucking beautiful. We really need people like Dippy, she’s so… alive to the moment. She’s a smile, a real smile.
I can’t help it, though, my mind just goes and goes and, well I guess I’m just an explorer, you know? Right now, though, I’m not exploring so much as evolving. I’m not the person I was. Literally, my mind has expanded to the size of the universe and that’s because I’ve found The Knowledge.
No wonder governments close the door to The Knowledge with their laws. If everyone found it there’d be a fucking revolution. Not a violent one, that’s not the answer at all. But a spiritual revolution, a revolution of thought. I mean, if a policeman came in now and said to me: “you’re under arrest” I’d just say: “Only in your world.” And that would be the truth. Because where I am now, they can’t touch me. They can only touch my body.
I’m not the person that I used to be. Lennon fucking knew it, I tell you. That man could see – really see, with his mind, not just his eyes. You know that song Tomorrow Never Knows? That’s it!
It’s like this: if you draw a stick man on a bit of paper, that stick man can move sideways, and he can move up and down. That’s his world, right? That’s what he understands. For the stick man there’s nothing but up and down and side to side. Up and down and side to side. Up and down and side to side. Up and down and side to side. Up and down and side to side. He can’t move off the paper, he’s stuck on a bit of A4 for his whole life. The paper’s his prison.
He has no concept of actually moving out of the paper. He’s got no in and out, only up and down and side to side. But if you showed that stick man how to move out of the paper, if you showed him that there was in and out as well as up and down and side to side, well you’d blow his fucking mind. Yes, my friends, indeed you would blow that little stick man’s paper brain wide open.
And that’s what we all are, we’re stick men and women and the world, and our life – they’re the paper prisons we’re stuck in. We only see the dimensions they let us see, because they want to keep us down. Keep us working, keep the truth from us. But I’m the stick man who’s come off the paper, you see? I’m out and I’m never going back. There’s a hole in the paper world where Barry used to be but Barry’s gone. Barry found his way out.
It’s so funny, I can remember Barry the person that existed before The Knowledge. But it’s not like it’s me, it’s like an ancestor, a distant thing, a sense of a thing, like where instincts come from. That person was defined by his limitations, his strictures. But I’ve become part of the infinity now. The mind is infinite, and it’s inside you! That’s the whole thing about perception: You think that you’re finite, because of the dimensions you understand. But actually, within the physical finite bounds of the body there is something infinite. You can only get out by first going in. Get it?
We used to know. As a species, I mean, we used to know. The Knowledge wants us to find it because only by different beings finding The Knowledge can The Knowledge grow and find more beings. That’s why it puts its doorways all over the world, and the Shaman, the spiritual leaders (not the band), they knew where to find them (maybe the band did too). The mushrooms, the herb, the cacti, the doorways are plants! What could be more natural than that? Believe me, The Knowledge wants to be found and when you find it, you become it.
But we’ve forgotten the truth. The people in charge, they don’t want us to find The Knowledge, they want to keep it for themselves. So they’ve made the plants illegal. How can you make a plant illegal? When you stop and think about it, you have to realise it’s the most ridiculous thing imaginable. A plant just is. You can’t allow or disallow something that just is. There it is growing out of the ground – it’s fucking life in its purest form. It comes out of the ground, out of a seed, it’s FUCKING BEAUTIFUL. You kill it, but it grows again. They want to make LIFE illegal!!
But they’re wrong, and if you want to eat that plant and find infinity that’s as it should be. I mean, this isn’t a drug I’ve taken. I thought it was a drug when Dippy gave it to me. But that’s what they want you to think. DRUGS ARE BAD that’s what they tell you. But this isn’t a drug, that’s my point, this is the fucking TRUTH!!!
They call it Acid, right? And that sounds like it’s bad. But it’s not bad. You know what though, it is a trip, like they used to call it in the 60s. It’s a trip, a one-way ticket to the reality of things. They say that people get damaged by it, that it fucks with their minds. Well, hello? Of course it does. Imagine if you were blind your whole life and then suddenly you could see. That would fuck with your mind, too. All that information going into your brain that wasn’t going in before would cause a few problems. So don’t go on to me about acid casualties, because the sad truth is that not everyone’s brain is robust enough to cope with The Knowledge right away. That’s all it is, readers. They’re not damaged – they’re just taking things in.
Hang on a minute, Dippy’s calling me.
Blimey, my sense of time has been really altered. I’ve just spent 90 minutes watching words move round on yesterday’s Metro. That’s some funny shit!
Anyway, where was I… Yeah, the truth. The Knowledge has always been and will always be, that’s how it is. There was nothing before The Knowledge, which isn’t to say that there was an absence of something before The Knowledge, more that there was no ‘before The Knowledge’ because The Knowledge has always been. See? And The Knowledge is a giant, speeding accumulation of experiences from the whole of time and infinity. You go through the doorway and you find the truth. All it asks in return is that you offer the sum of your experiences to it so that it can grow. And now it has Newsdesk in it and it’s a tiny bit bigger, a tiny bit brighter. But it is time and infinity and the universe and all the things we have these words for.
I guess if I was trying to explain it to someone who hadn’t come through the doorway, I’d say it’s a bit like Wikipedia. Like a sort of cosmic Wikipedia. Except while it’s an accumulation, I’m not sure if it’s actually a reference of accessible facts. Knowing The Knowledge is The Knowledge, if you see what I mean. I don’t know if you can just go up to it and say: “what’s it like to be a rabbit?” and then immediately experience what it’s like to be a rabbit. It’s still pretty new to me. That would be cool, though.
But, thinking about it, I guess the Web is a bit like The Knowledge. We’ve made the Web in its image. Accidental? I don’t know.
What it most definitely is not is God, or Allah, or whoever the fuck the religions try and make us think it is. It doesn’t care about stuff like that. It’s not a person, it’s not something you can understand unless you really embrace it. The religions, they give you just enough of the truth to make the lie credible. FUCK!!!
And here’s the funny thing, right? All the religions go on about when you die you find eternity and all that bollocks. Wrong! If you die without finding The Knowledge, you’re fucked. I’ve found it and it’s taken me with it on its journey through forever in every direction. So when I die, when my body dies, I’m still part of The Knowledge. So you find eternity through life, not in death.
I haven’t figured out yet if I need to keep going through the doorway, taking acid, to keep the connection going. Or if that’s it now, I’ll just constantly update. Like iTunes. I’m guessing this is it, I’ve changed. But I’m just going to take another one, just in case, to keep the door open a bit longer. I’ve got a lot to learn.
By the way, the whole time I’ve been typing this, I’ve been wearing a top hat.
You’re my readers and I love you so let me tell you this: If you only do one thing in the rest of your lives let that one thing be coming through the doorway. Whatever way you can, come through and find The Knowledge. Get some acid, whatever, just do it. I want you to live in The Knowledge, like I do. I want you guys to come with me. The Knowledge wants Mr Coleman’s gags, Mr London Street’s wry observations, Mess’s lovely French thoughts, Ellie’s dirty stories, all of it. It wants to be all of us and for all of us to be it, too. Come with me.
I want Mum to come with me too. Not Roger, though. I’m not sure I could ever persuade her to do what you have to do to come through the doorway, so I’m thinking I might just slip a tab in her dinner one night. I can’t bear the idea of her dying without becoming part of the The Knowledge.
Right, I’ve got to go now. We’re going to listen to some Jefferson Airplane.
Peace, really everyone. All the peace in the world to you and yours.
Get some acid, please.