No God thanks we're British

When I was a nipper up in Lincoln, Mum wanted me to join the Boy's Brigade because she thought it might be nice for me to learn an instrument. She bought me a bugle. Sadly, it turns out, I am completely tone deaf and they threw me out, so then I joined the Scouts. It didn't last long, I'm not massively keen on following orders, all that swearing allegiance to the Queen and singing the national anthem. I deserted in the end.

After the Scouts, I joined the Woodcraft Folk with my best friend Steve, which was bascially like the Scouts for the children of hippies. Steve wasn't the child of a hippy (his dad was a copper for crying out loud!) but the Woodcraft Folk allowed girls to join and they went on camps, so the attraction of such an organisation to young lads from Lincoln was obvious.

The Woodcraft Folk is an unusual organisation really. I think it started in Scandinavia somewhere. They try and teach children discipline by respecting their views and hoping the respect will engender respect for others. Fucking madness really. You can well imagine how that when down with us?! It was bedlam, absolute carnage, we'd spend our time on camps trying to source cheap cider and finger the girls.

I have some very fond memories of my days in the Woodcraft Folk, not least Emily Yates, we all remember our first time don't we readers?! :-)

I saw something today that made me cry tears of saddness for the youth of today. Famed satanist Richard Dawkins and the gang have launched something called Camp Quest. It's a summer camp for the children of atheists!! Ridiculous eh? I thought that atheists were against indoctrination!!!!!

That said, having had a look at the website, if Mum had sent me to the camp it would certainly have made me question the notion of a God. Kids get to study philosophy, science and critical thinking. Yawnsville or wot?! Where's the canoeing? The rock climbing? The team building exercises? The cider? The fingering?

Actually, I bet the last two things still happen. Still, as Michael Jackson so famously sang:

If They Say "Why, Why?"

Tell 'Em, that's Human Nature

"Why? Why? Does He Do Me That Way?"

If They Say "Why, Why?"

Tell 'Em, that's Human Nature

"Why? Why? Does He Do Me That?"

Makes you think what Wacko Jacko would have made of the Camp Quest doesn't it?