Eidur down after Paroncell push

After last Friday's shock revelations, here on the pages of Newsdesk of the World, that stunning Cheryl Cole will dump her love-rat diminutive full-back parter Ashley Cole due to an indiscretion with the girl at the centre of Terrygate - none other than Vanessa Paroncell - it has come to light that John Terry wasn't the only Blue that she bumped uglies with during the course of a glitteringly seedy career.

I got a call from my source who now lives in Canada, let's call him Dave, that Paroncell (although Dave called her Duracell "cos she keeps going all night!" Lol!!!!) worked her way through half the squad.

Anyone who's familiar with the ins and outs of Vanessa Paroncell, knows about her fling with Eidur Gudjohnson. But few know the real secret behind the reason why Eidur was forced to leave Chelsea for the far flung fields of Catalonia.

Avram Grant.

That's right, once again, Barry NewsoftheworldDesk can reveal a footballing scoop that will shake Stamford Bridge to its very foundations. Paroncell's passion for all things Blue (and that includes Lee Ryan by the way) extended all the way up the manager's office.

Roman Abromavich was allegedly besotted with Paroncell, Dave reckons, and he would do anything for her. Including, sacking Jose Mourino and instating the object of Paroncell's desires: Avram Grant.

So when Paroncell put her own personal management order into Roman, Jose was on his bike. Of course, knowing that Avram was about to take over was the real reason Gudjohnson was forced to leave. Avram, though, as we all now know, cannot keep his cock in his pants and, GET THIS, news on the street of shame, according to Dave, is that Avram made a move on Cheryl Cole at the Christmas party after her and Ashley had an argument over, you guessed it, Vanessa Parancell.

Later that same night, Avram was spotted taking Cole up a back passage. A Cole hole. As it were......

Ashley told Roman and Grant was booted out in favour of the sexually repulsive Luiz Filipe 'just call me Gene Hackman' Scolari. That's when Paroncell decided to move back into the players lounge and get jiggly with Bridge and Terry.

There are some dirty things afoot in SW10.

Yours in sleaze

Barry

Fallen angels

They say that you should never meet your heroes. I always thought, 'what a load of tosh, when I met Brian Clough, he was every inch the gent'. However, the close encounter that I had with another one of my heroes last night seemed to back up the old adage.

I was minding my own business sitting in a pub in London's fashionable Chelsea waiting for my friend Dave the roofer (he's a season ticket holder at 'the Bridge') and in stormed none other than former world featherweight boxing legend, and my namesake, Barry McGuigan.

He looked to be in an advanced state of concern (Barry, not Dave - Dave was yet to arrive). I was going to say "hello", but I thought 'no Barry, this is London's fashionable Chelsea, the stars all hang out here to avoid that kind of thing', so I turned back around and kept reading my copy of the Metro.

I finished my pint and thought I'd nip to the gents before Dave arrived, he gets very impatient sometimes if I interupt his football stories by going to the loo.

So I walked into the loo and came face to face with Barry!!!

Not me, I wasn't looking in the mirror ;-) it was Barry McGuigan. the Clones Cyclone. I tell you what readers, he's tiny.

He might be tiny, but he's still menacing KK?! We looked at one another, eye-to-eye, mano i mano, and I made my way over the urinal. He was wearing the kind of expression that just says "DON'T!". Suffice to say, I didn't.

He turned around to face the solitary toilet cubicle. I have to say I was quite relieved, with a former champion pugilist staring at me I would almost certainly have suffered from a certain degree of 'stage fright'.

Anyway, I precided with my business, and heard some mumblings from within the toilet trap. Barry was clearly waiting for someone inside. Now, I've heard about this sort of thing, I'm not naive. I've had a toot on the old jazz salt trumpet, I've been a weekend rockstar practising my lines, I've snorted the dragons.

Like Eric Clapton before me, I'm talking about COCAINE!!!!!!!

Anyway, I tried not to think about it, then I heard another voice, clearer this time, coming out of the toilet cubicle. "Did mum see?" asked the voice.
"I'll tell you later," said Barry.

Well, jeesh, now I didn't know what to make of the situation. I just finished up and scarpered, no sign of Dave in the bar, so I headed for the door as quick as I could!!

I had to call Dave to tell him I'd been called away by Gill. "You're under the fum mate," he said. Maybe he's right.

When I got home, I popped the TV on, and there, smiling back at me across the living room, was....yep, you guessed it, BARRY MCGUIGAN.

He was on Family Fortunes, with Vernon Kay. Amazing.

I was too stunned to blog about it at the time, but I've had a chance to think about it. This would make for an interesting piece for the Metro probably.

I wonder if any of you have had an embarassing interlude with a former famous namesake? I'll love to read your stories, I'm sure they would add a touch of 'colour'* to my piece for the Metro.

As a Citizen Journalist you've got to keep your wits about you. There are famous people EVERYWHERE.

l8ers!

*colour is a journalistic euphemism. It means, interesting yet not directly relevant.