Thierry-ble decision

Thierry Henry, once again getting confused about the rules.....

I love the way that Thierry Henry has graciously said that he was cheating and that the Ireland v France game should be replayed. A true gentleman, a football sophisticate, "I am not a cheat and never have been,” he lied, I mean, said, knowing full well the game would never be replayed.

The game won’t be replayed because it would set a president that football can’t afford, namely the replaying of a match in which a poor referee decision or cheating player has turned or decided a game. If the game were replayed we could take the president to its natural conclusion and demand the replaying of matches from the past in which poor decisions have been made and blatant cheating has taken place.

Although maybe replaying matches from the past is the only fair solution. Perhaps if Maradona’s own hand of god goal in ’86 could be overturned, England would win the World Cup in Mexico that year making it two little gold stars on the shirt instead of one. That said, if we went back through time replaying matches where bad decisions have altered the course of the game, maybe West Germany would win the ’66 World Cup.

I say, in the le spirit du football, it’s time to pop on your Thierry Henry replica shirt and nip down the road for a pint of the black stuff, isn’t it? It’s time to heal the wounds over a drink or two.

The Irish love a drink and they love a bit of injustice, don’t they. Would you believe they're still banging on about 800 years of oppression from the Brits... and that was 800 years ago.

I can’t believe the Irish justice minister’s getting stuck in. I think Dermot Ahern has slightly misread his 'minister of justice' job description confusing constitutional law with a football phone-in for idiots.

Still, I think it would be quite amusing to get a Terry Henry replica shirt and one of those oversized foam hand things so popular in ice hockey and go down to O’Neils this evening.

They’re a bit chippy the Irish, and they love a fight. Like the English really. They’re very like the English in fact. I should tell them that as they’re pasting seven bells out of me. Or I could suggest that, as part of the British Isles, they lend their support to England’s campaign next summer. It would make an excellent first step in an end to all of this silly independence nonsense.

Or better still suggest we join forces and invade France! There's nothing like uniting over the common foe. It will be just like Shakespeare, except with extra Irishness - O'Shakespeare if you like. I really hope there’s a massive backlash, and the Oirish rename everything with French in the title.

What we really need is an article speculating on how Stephen Gately would have reacted to this, with plenty of comment from Ronan Keating. And then one from Jan Moir sticking up for the Frenchies.

What do you think Mess?

Au revoir
Baz